Finally! It’s only taken 17-minutes to do what any other movie could have done in less than 2.Ġ0:18:00 – I don’t freakin’ believe this! Now we’re just watching both of them run around the woods endlessly. Do something already! For the love of god, somebody do something say something anything other than more woods walking! If Bigfoot wants to lie on the ground and slowly caress himself in an erotic manner I’ll take it.Ġ0:16:50 – Bigfoot has begun chasing him. I would fast forward except I’m afraid pushing the button would upstage the action on the screen.Ġ0:15:00 – Once again updating the movie thus far: not a goddamn thing.Ġ0:15:29 – What is up with this Bigfoot’s face? It’s like someone transformed into a were-Rocky Dennis.Ġ0:16:30 – Bigfoot is clearly the king of procrastination. Not quite sure yet.Ġ0:14:00 – And we’re back to some guy walking through the woods. Or it might have been a guy in a Smokey the Bear suit late for an “only you” commercial shoot. At this point I would welcome laying on the ground touching yourself in slow motion because at least it would by something other than walking around not saying or doing anything.Ġ0:13:40 – Bigfoot just ran past the camera. Do something already, and I don’t mean lay down on the ground and slowly rub your abs.Ġ0:13:13 – I take it back. Back to him walking about the woods.Ġ0:12:00 – “Is somebody there?” he asks. I wonder what that was ab…Ġ0:11:50 – Never mind. Lousy Canadians can get better cellular phone reception in the middle of nowhere than we Americans can.Ġ0:09:45 – And we now return you to the exciting adventures of a shirtless backpacker on a nature hike.Ġ0:11:15 – A pretty girl spots him and has a quick flashback to something he said to her, I think. 00:04:30 – Joy! Now we’re just watching a guy walking around the woods.Ġ0:08:00 – Recapping the movie thus far: the woods, a guy, some growling.Ġ0:08:20 – He just made a phone call.
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